


In the Beginning

by tosaveonehuman



Category: Supernatural
Genre: It even shocked me, M/M, Surprise Ending, im sorry, it works out though its fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tosaveonehuman/pseuds/tosaveonehuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very human Cas joins the boys in their quest to hunt down and kill Metatron, and Dean finds that he can no longer supress the romantic feelings he has for his best friend. The only problem is he doesn't know if Cas feels the same way.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Beginning

“Dammit, Sam, I had that shot!” Dean exclaimed as they marched through the door of the hotel room.  
“No, you didn’t, Dean.” Sam said in exasperation. For what felt like the hundredth time in an hour, he told his brother, “Your angle was completely wrong. It would have gotten away.”  
` “Dean, Sam has a very good point.” Cas said as he trailed them into the room, and pushed the door closed behind them.  
“Not helping!” Dean said, throwing his duffel onto his bed.  
“Not trying to,” Cas responded, lowering himself gingerly into a chair, wincing slightly when he touched the seat.  
“Cas, you okay?” Dean asked. Cas waved the question off, and Dean made a mental note to ask him about it later.  
Sam leaned against the counter in the small kitchenette, and crossed his arms. “Dean, it’s really not that big a-“  
“If you say deal, so help me I will shoot you.” Dean said, pointing a finger at his brother.  
“How many times have you built that car from the ground up?” Sam asked, gesturing to the window where they could just make out the shape of the Impala from the street lamp a few feet away. “I think you can handle a few chips in the paint.”  
“It doesn’t change the fact that you shot my car.”  
The boys stared at each other for a few minutes before Sam finally announced that he was going to get dinner.  
“Hey Sam,” Dean called as his brother was halfway out the door. “Pie.”  
Sam rolled his eyes and pulled the door shut.  
“It’s rather peculiar.” Cas piped up from the chair across the room.  
“What is, Cas?” Dean asked as he pulled two beers from the mini fridge and tossed one to his friend.  
“Your obsession with pie.” The former angel replied, easily catching the beer.  
Dean lowered himself into the chair across from Cas, and laughed, saying, “It’s not an obsession, buddy.”  
“Oh? Name two things you love more than pie. “Cas challenged, taking a long pull of his drink.  
You. The though drifted through Dean’s head, and he shook it sharply. He shoved it away, and thought up a more acceptable answer.  
“Cheeseburgers. And my- chipped- car.”  
Cas smiled. “Your car I can believe, but cheeseburgers? That I'm not so sure about.”  
“Alright, you caught me. There’s only one thing I love more than pie.” Cas’ face drifted through his mind again, and decided not to mention the Impala.  
The two men fell silent for a few minutes, just sitting and drinking their beers in comfortable silence, until finally Dean had to ask.  
“So what’s wrong?”  
“What?” Cas asked, putting on his best I'm confused face. Dean knew Cas, though- and right now he knew his friend was lying.  
“Come on, Cas, I saw you wincing earlier.”  
Cas looked for a second like he was going to try lying, but instead just exhaled, stood, and shrugged out of his trench coat.  
“Earlier, on the hunt, I got pinned by that werewolf against the car.” Dean remembered- vividly. Running back to the car, seeing Cas pinned down by the werewolf, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to line up a shot until it would be too late. Luckily, Sam was, and the only collateral damage was his baby.  
He was snapped back to the present when Cas started unbuttoning his shirt. Dean shifted in his seat, and reminded himself that they were having a serious conversation. “Before you and Sam got there, it got a few hits in.”  
Dean gasped in anger as Cas let his shirt slip from his shoulders to reveal his already blackened side.  
“Dean, it’s fine,” Cas said in a soothing voice. “I'm quite sure nothing’s broken, and the creature is dead.” Cas bent down to pick up his shirt from where it was pooled around his feet. Dean couldn’t keep his eyes from roaming over the angels lightly muscled back. Not an angel any more, he reminded himself as his eyes latched once more on to the bruise.  
“Wait.” Dean said. Cas’ eyes snapped up to meet his. “You can’t just leave that.” Dean stood and walked over to where Cas stood. “Stand up straight.” Cas just watched him carefully. “Come on, I can help.” Dean looked away and rubbed his chin. What the hell are you doing? He thought to himself.  
Cas’ eyes were questioning, but he did as his best friend said.  
“Dean…” Cas’ voice was confused as Dean gingerly spun him around and began to gently massage the skin on Cas’ back that surrounded the bruise.  
“I was a clumsy child.” Dean said by way of explanation. “Always covered in bruises- sorry.” He said as he hit a tender spot. He began to work a little lower, just above Cas’ hips. “My mom was always doing this for me. When she died, I had to learn to do it for myself.” He said this with only the smallest twinge of sadness.  
“I'm sorry, Dean.” Cas said, looking over his shoulder at the hunter.  
“What? Oh, don’t be. It was a long time ago. Anyways, I had to teach myself how- after I started hunting, I was pretty much a walking bruise for months.” His hands again moved a little lower, and Cas grunted as Dean’s fingers brushed the waistband of his trousers. “Then Sammy started. God, don’t ever tell him I said this, but the kid was a terrible hunter. I’m surprised no one ever called child services.” Dean laughed fondly at the memory as he moved in front of Cas.  
“You good if I keep going? I, uh, don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Dean said as he glanced down at Cas’ exposed chest and stomach.  
“You’re not making me uncomfortable Dean.”  
That was all Dean needed. His hands surer this time, he began to massage the space around the bruise, starting at Cas’ chest.  
He worked in silence only momentarily before Cas said, “Tell me more about your childhood.”  
“Why?” Dean said, snorting. “Dad was never around, and when he was all he did was obsess over Yellow-Eyes.” Cas didn’t press the subject- as curious as he was, he knew Dean didn’t have many good childhood memories.  
Cas gasped in surprise as Dean’s fingers reached the slope of his hip.  
“Did I hurt you?” Dean asked, his breath tickling Cas’ stomach as he spoke.  
“No.” Cas replied in a strained voice. He wasn’t in pain though- he didn’t know what was wrong, only that he needed Dean so much closer.  
“There.” He said, straightening. “Done…” His voice trailed off as his eyes met Castiel’s. His stomach twisted suddenly.  
“Son of a bitch.” He muttered, and without making any conscious decision of do so, reached out and grabbed the back of Cas’ neck and pulled him forward, pressing their lips together.  
The kiss didn’t deepen- it didn’t have a chance to, much to Dean’s chagrin- because just then they heard the distinct rumble of the Impala die out.  
Cas wrenched from his grasp, a look of shocked disbelief on his face, plus another look Dean couldn’t decipher.  
“We are not finished yet.” Dean said, rubbing his palm across his face. Cas’ eyes widened in what Dean hoped was silent agreement, and went to grab the ice pack that they’d tossed in the motel rooms small freezer that afternoon.  
“Here.” He said, throwing it to Cas just as Sam came through the door.  
“Sorry I was gone so long- the dinner was pretty busy.” Sam said, nudging the door closed with his foot. “Holy shit Cas.” Sam said as he handed Cas a bag that smelled of his favourite food, his eyes latching onto Cas’ side.  
“Werewolf.” Cas said, taking the offered food.  
“Ah.”  
“Did you get my pie?” Dean asked, pushing himself off the counter he had been lazily leaning against.  
“Yes, Dean, I got your pie.” Sam said, handing Dean another bag.  
The three men sat down at the small table, and Dean moved his chair a little closer to Cas’, hoping Sam wouldn’t notice. He definitely didn’t- his laptop was already out and open on the table, and he wasn’t even looking at the other two men. Dean took the opportunity to shift his chair closer to Cas’ yet again, and Cas responded by subtly moving to the edge of his own chair- which happened to press their knees together. Dean gave Cas a small smile.  
Sam was typing furiously, and finally Dean said, “Dude, aren’t you going to eat something?”  
“Already did.” Sam grunted, eyes never leaving the computer screen.  
“What are you even looking for?”  
“I heard on the radio that there was a potential case not far from here… I'm just seeing if I can find out more… Okay, so get this.” Sam finally stopped typing, and his eyebrows pulled together. “Twenty-six people, all dead, eyes burned out of their heads.”  
“That sounds like an angel massacre.” Cas said, one hand pressing the ice pack to his side, the other reaching for his fries.  
“That’s what I thought. Huh. It says here that there were twenty-seven victims- one survivor, in critical condition, who says that Marv would save them.”  
Cas looked alarmed. “That was Metatron’s name when we were working together.”  
“Good.” Dean said, standing up from the table and taking the garbage to the bin. “We leave first thing.”  
He began to walk towards the door. “Where are you going?” Cas asked.  
“To get a cot and some ice for your side.”  
“Why are you getting a cot?” Sam asked, turning to face his brother.  
“It’s stupid to keep renting two rooms- it’s expensive, and credit card fraud ain’t easy.” Sam couldn’t argue with that, and went back to his computer.  
“I’ll come help you.” Cas stood up, grabbed his shirt, and tossed the ice pack on the table.  
Cas waited until they couldn’t be seen or heard by Sam before he grabbed Dean’s shoulder and spun him around.  
“Dean-“  
“I know, Cas, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Dean said, mistakenly taking Cas’ confusion for anger.  
“Dean… I never said I didn’t want it to happen again.” Cas ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier than it already had been. “But if you don’t want to-“  
“Oh, believe me, I want to.” Dean said, his voice growing even deeper than usual.  
This time it was Cas who started the kiss. He grabbed Dean’s face and pulled it towards his own. When they’re lips met, Dean couldn’t resist swinging Cas around and pressing him against the wall. Cas rolled his hips passionately against Dean. Dean moaned against his mouth and began to explore Cas’ with his tongue. Their hands began a mutual exploration, slowly at first, then more urgently.  
It was Dean who broke the kiss first. He inhaled sharply and said, “Sam will worry if we’re gone too long.” Cas nodded. He buried his face in Dean’s neck and pressed a soft kiss there before pulling back.  
***  
Dean didn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t. He had too many questions. He guessed he shouldn’t be surprised. How many times had he caught Cas staring at him- and more importantly, caught himself watching Cas? He’d been supressing his feelings for so long now, he was almost able to forget they even existed. Almost.  
But that didn’t explain why he was suddenly acting on them. It had been weeks since the Fall, and Cas had been with them the entire time. He was only ever gone when he went to a second hotel room to sleep, up until now at least. Dean had been the one to suggest separate rooms in an attempt to avoid temptation, which had obviously gone real well considering Cas was now snoring softly in a cot at the foot of Dean’s bed. Awesome, Dean thought.  
Dean didn’t know whether or not he and Cas could have an actual relationship. He was well aware that Cas wanted his grace back, and that he would return to Heaven when he got it. Unless… for the next several hours, Dean pondered whether or not Cas would stay if he asked him to.  
It was nearly three when, as Dean was just starting to drift off, Cas suddenly bolted upright in bed, and a cry of pain escaped his lips.  
Dean sat up. “Cas?”  
There was silence for several moments aside from Cas’ gasping breaths and Sam’s soft snoring, and then Cas’ soft, “Yes?”  
Dean got out of bed and walked over to Cas. “Talk to me.” He said as he knelt on the floor.  
Cas slowly lowered his head back to his pillow, then rolled over to face Dean.  
“When I was an angel I didn’t sleep, but I do now. It’s kind of annoying.”  
“Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying.” Cas shot him a look. Dean reached out and ran a hand through his friends hair. “Sorry. Keep going.”  
“Anyways, now that I sleep, I also dream, and they usually take the form of nightmares. I dream about purgatory, and about what I did to Heaven when I was God. Dean, I killed so many angels and humans. And now then Fall. Dean, they all blame me. I’ll never be able to stand with them again, even if I do get my grace back.”  
It hit Dean that this was probably his on and only chance. I inhaled deeply, preparing to launch into a speech about how he wishes Cas would stay because blah blah blah and feelings, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was, “Don’t go back.”  
Cas had been worrying the covers through his fingers, and his eyes snapped up and his hands froze. “What?”  
“Stay here, with me. And Sam.” He added as an afterthought.  
“Dean, why would you want me here?”  
“What?” Dean echoed, rolling back onto his feet.  
“How many times have you been hurt because of me? I mean, every awful thing I’ve done has hurt you. And on top of that you were in Purgatory months longer than you had to be because of me-“  
“I chose to stay and look for you-“  
“You never would have been there if not for my actions.”  
“Dick had to go!” Dean exclaimed, louder than he should have. He regretted the words immediately- they both looked over to where Sam was still sleeping soundly. Then Dean realized he’d practically handed Cas his next argument.  
“The reason the Leviathan were even on Earth was me.” Cas said softly.  
“Cas!” Dean said, grabbing his friends face. Cas could tell the hunter was upset and immediately felt guilty knowing that he was the reason why. “I have forgiven you for everything. None of it matters- we’re family.” They both cringed at Dean’s words, because they were the exact same ones as from the crypt, the night Cas nearly killed Dean. Dean shook it off, saying, “I told you once that you were like a brother to me. Cas, that was me trying to tell you that I need you here, with me.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “Cas, I’m begging you… don’t go.”  
“Dean, I-“  
“Guys, what’s going on?” Sam said, voice thick with sleep. Dean’s head snapped to the side, just in time to see his brother reach for the lamp on the table beside him. He snatched his hand way, and rocked back so that he was lounging on the floor.  
The light flicked on just as Dean got settled.  
“Not much Sammy.”  
Sam scowled at the nickname, then asked, “Why are you sitting on the floor?”  
“Cas and I are discussing a game plan for tomorrow.”  
“At three in the morning?” Sam asked sceptically.  
“Couldn’t sleep. Your snoring was keeping us up.” Dean pushed himself to his feet and made his way over to his bed.  
“Are you going to tell me what it is?”  
“Hm?” Dean’s eyes flicked up to his brothers. Shit, he thought.  
“The game plan? The one that was important enough to decide upon in the middle of the night?”  
“Ah, see, uh, Cas and I are, uh, going to rock the FBI getup, and you,” he said, struggling to come up with an adequate excuse that would keep Sam out of the Impala. “You’re going to put some feelers out in the community, see if anyone saw anything. Maybe talk to the families.”  
“There are twenty-six families, Dean!”  
“Well you don’t have to talk to all of them! Cas and I are going to the morgue, the police station and then we’ll talk to the survivor. After that-“  
“Hello boys.” All three men whipped around to see Crowley standing in the kitchen, pouring himself three fingers of Hunter’s Helper.  
Crowley took one drink, made a face, and set the cup back down on the counter. “Glad to see your taste in scotch hasn’t changed,” he said, sauntering forward a few steps.  
“What do you want, Crowley?” Sam asked.  
“Relax Moose, I’m only here to talk.” Crowley said as he threw himself into a chair.  
“About?” Dean asked, trying to mask his curiosity with disinterest and a bit of irritation.  
“Abaddon.”  
“Wow, that was helpful, even for you,” Dean said as he walked into the kitchen and scooped up the abandoned drink. “Care to elaborate?” He asked, with the cup nearly touching his bottom lip.  
“She’s a royal pain in my ass. She wants Hell- there are Long Live the Queen banners everywhere. Demons are switching over to her side, more and more every day, and-“  
“And is there something you need Crowley? Because if you’re just here to sulk, I’d rather save the chick flick moment and kill you now,” Dean said, knocking back the rest of his drink.  
“Alright, fine. I need some help. Some hunters have made for excellent mercenaries in the past, perhaps-“  
“No,” Dean bit out.  
“Excuse me?”  
“I’ve been Hell’s bitch before because I had to, for Sam, but never again.”  
“Would you really rather have Abaddon in charge?”  
“I really don’t care.” Dean took a couple slow steps closer as he spoke, and gestured to his companions and himself. “The only business we’re going to have with Hell from here on out is sticking that demon blade in any and every demon we come across.”  
“Dean-“ Sam said, standing up.  
“Sam, no-“  
“Dean, let’s face the facts, Crowley is a much better option than Abaddon. I mean, we’ve only had a few run ins with her, but where she’s kind of an evil bitch, Crowley’s only kinda douchey by comparison.”  
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me, Moose.” Sam made the bitch-face.  
“So, Dean, which is it going to be? Are you going to help me, or do I need to convince you?”  
Dean barely saw it happen.  
Cas grabbed his angel blade from beneath his pillow, and was across the room with the blade pressed against Crowley’s throat in seconds.  
“Don’t threaten Dean.” He growled.  
“Well, well, well, Castiel, it looks like you’re missing something. Perhaps your grace?”  
“Dean walked over and put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Come on, man, it’s fine.” After one more second of staring at Crowley, Cas straightened up. But he made sure to drag the tip of the angel blade across Crowley’s throat first.  
“Oops,” he said, face completely straight. Dean wanted to laugh, but angel or not, Cas was downright scary when he was wrathful.  
“Fine,” Crowley said. The laceration on his throat was already healed, but the collar of his shirt was stained red with blood. He stood up. “Have it your way then.”  
Cas turned away. Dean was about to follow suit when he saw a flash of silver as an angel blade dropped from the demon’s sleeve. “Cas!” He shouted. Crowley’s arm was swooping down, and the blade was inches from Cas’ back when Dean grabbed Crowley’s wrist. He twisted, and drove the blade into Crowley’s shoulder.  
As Crowley made a pained noise, Dean twisted the blade. “Nobody touches the angel,” he growled through clenched teeth.  
“He’s not an angel anymore Dean.” Crowley whispered as the telltale orange light flickered through his body. “Dean!” He gasped as Dean pressed a little harder on the blade.  
“Go. Directly. To. Hell.” Dean said slowly. Then, with a quick snap of his wrist, he drove the angel blade straight through Crowley’s heart.  
“Dean!” Sam shouted, too late. Dean let Crowley’s body fall to the floor at his feet as the last of the orange light burned out.  
***  
“Dean! Wake up Dean!”  
Dean jerked awake, and in the process decked his brother.  
“Oof-“ Sam grunted as he was knocked backwards.  
“Sorry!” Dean exclaimed. Sam waved the apology off.  
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I should know better than to be in punching range when you wake up anyways.” He smiled and stood up, towering over Dean. “What the hell are you doing on the floor anyways?”  
For the first time, Dean glanced around at his surroundings. “I… I don’t know.” He was lying on the ground, by Cas’ bed where he’d been kneeling what felt like only minutes ago.  
“Where’s Cas?” He asked, rubbing a hand over his face as he stood up. He felt like he’d been hit with a ton of bricks.  
“Shower- he should be out in a sec,” his brother replied.  
“Kay,” Dean mumbled as he shuffled into the kitchen. He tried to figure out what happened the night before. He was willing to chalk the whole thing up to a dream, but he had been asleep on the floor.  
He had his hands braced against the kitchen counter, staring intently into the sink when Cas came out of the bathroom. He was toweling off his hair and wearing nothing but pyjama pants, the bruise on his side a large black expanse of skin that was painfully obvious when contrasted against his otherwise pale complexion.  
“Good morning Dean.” He rumbled. When Dean appeared to have not heard him, he asked, “Dean? Are you alright?”  
He heard the bathroom door click closed, then said, “Yeah, Cas, I’m just… I'm really confused.” He rubbed one palm over his face.  
“What about?” Cas was only partly invested in the conversation, and was digging through his duffel bag when Dean said, “How did I end up on the floor?”  
Cas dropped the shirt he was holding and spun around, mildly alarmed. “You don’t remember?”  
“No, it’s just, I had this really weird dream and can’t figure out where reality ends and this dream begins.”  
Cas relaxed, and went back to riffling through his bag. “I had a nightmare, and we were talking.” Dean nodded, remembering that part. Cas shrugged and said, “Then we fell asleep.”  
Dean nodded again, then stood up straight. He looked over at Cas, and noticed the bruise on his side. “Shit, buddy… do you, uh, want be to…” Cas looked over his shoulder at him, and Dean gestured to the former angels side. Cas nodded, and Dean sighed with relief. Good- he wasn’t entirely sure how to phrase what he was asking.  
“Why don’t you lie down?” He suggested. Cas raised an eyebrow at him. “It might make it easier.” Dean added almost defensively. Cas began to lower himself onto the cot and Dean said, “Maybe something with a bit more stability.” Cas nodded in agreement, and scooted onto Dean’s bed. Dean couldn’t help but smile.  
As he walked over to the edge of his now occupied bed, Cas laid down on his back. “My back doesn’t really hurt anymore.” He explained. Dean nodded, and sat down beside his best friends, their hips brushing against each other. He didn’t hesitate this time- he reached out and began to massage Castiel’s chest, careful to steer clear of the bruise itself. His eyes stayed glued to Cas, studying his features.  
When Dean had worked around the edge of the entire bruise, he pressed his hand flush against Cas’ stomach. As Dean leaned forward, his hand drifted up Cas’ entire midriff until it came to rest on the other man’s chest just as their lips met. After a moment, the kiss deepened, and they began to explore each other’s mouths.  
“Dean-“ Cas gasped, breaking he kiss. “Sam-“  
“Will be another twenty minutes at least.” That was all it took to convince Cas. He pulled Dean’s mouth back to his, and their kiss became frantic and their hands roamed over each other’s chest, arms and back.  
Dean shifted his body over Cas’, and pressed them together. His lips pressed firmly to Cas’ for one more second, then drifted away, traveling over the angels- ex angel, he reminded himself- jaw and throat. He earned himself a gasp of pleasure when he bit lightly on Cas’ shoulder, where any marks he left wouldn’t be noticeably. Dean took it as a sign that he could bite a little harder, still careful not to actually hurt Cas. This time Cas moaned.  
Dean’s body was buzzing with arousal and excitement at the idea that they could be caught when he heard the shower die out and the curtain slide open.  
“Shit,” He muttered, moving back up over Cas and kissed him one more time. “Later.”  
“Of course, Dean,” Cas said, clearly disappointed that the make-out session was over.  
Dean hated the look of disappointment on his friends face, but knew he had no option but to get out of bed.  
Sam came out of the washroom a minute later, and Dean rushed in.  
***  
Dean absentmindedly scrubbed at his body, mind whirling. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he was suddenly making a move on Cas. It didn’t make sense- he’d been interested in Cas since he’d said he’d give anything to keep Dean from having to torture Alistair. It was something about the desperate truth in that statement that made Dean realize that Cas was someone he could trust. After that, he began to see Cas in a new light- first as a friend, and slowly as more than that.  
In the beginning, he wasn’t even sure what it was that he was feeling- he’d never been attracted to men before- physically or emotionally- but he grew to understand that Cas was more than just a friend, and was now fairly certain that Cas reciprocated the feeling.  
He knew he and Cas had to actually talk about this- he owed it to Cas and himself to be completely honest. He was already dreading the awkwardness of it though- and the chance to be rejected.  
***  
Less than an hour later, the three were loaded into the Impala. Dean popped one of his favourite tapes in, and as Highway to Hell started blaring, they tore out of the parking lot.  
“When they were about an hour out, Dean explained his plan from his dream that night. Luckily, Sam only made his notorious bitch-face without actually protesting.  
Dean could feel Cas’ eyes burning into the back of his head for the rest of the ride.  
***  
They pulled into the least sketchy motel they could find and rented a room. Twenty minutes later, they were all changed into appropriate attire, and Sam was taking a cab into town to interview the families of the victims.  
As Cas was opening the door, Dean called out, “Cas, wait.”  
He let the door swing shut and turned to Dean, his expression blank. Dean took a deep breath, knowing this conversation could either destroy his friendship or take it to a whole new level.  
“Cas, I’m not really sure why I'm suddenly making a move on you-“  
“Dean, you don’t have to apologize, I understand if you don’t want a relationship-“  
“Cas, please let me finish before I lose my nerve.” Cas pressed his lips together. “I don’t know why I’m suddenly acting on them, but I’ve had these feelings for- well, years. But I didn’t think it was what you wanted, so I-“  
“Dean, stop.” Cas said, and Dean felt his gut twist. He’s screwed up. He was stupid to think the former angel could ever want him- the human who had caused him to fall from Heaven.  
Cas walked right up to Dean and put a hand over the spot where the scar used to be, before Cas healed it.  
Dean felt a different kind of gut twist at Cas’ next words- “I have always wanted you, Dean. You, however, never seemed interested, what with your appreciation for the female form and all.” Cas blushed slightly.  
Dean exhaled in relief and moved his head forward until his lips brushed Cas’. “I only want you.” He whispered. And then they devoured each other’s mouths.  
Cas was seated on the small table, Dean between his knees, when the door suddenly opened right beside them.  
“What are you guys still-“ Sam froze. “…doing here.”  
Dean was opening his mouth to offer up an explanation- although, how would he explain this as anything but what it was- when Sam said, “Well it’s about time.  
As Cas scooted off the table in an attempt to put him and Dean in a less compromising position, Dean stuttered out a gurgled, very confused noise vaguely resembling the word what.  
“Dean, I’ve been watching you two have eye sex for years. It’s about time you guys did something about it. Although, I’m out fifty bucks because of you.” Sam said with a smirk and crossed his arms over his chest.  
“I’m not sure I understand.” Cas said with a cute tip of his head.  
“They placed bets, Cas,” Dean said, feeling out of the loop- how had he really not noticed Cas’ affection for four years? “So if it wasn’t you, who won?”  
“Crowley.” Sam deadpanned, his smirk becoming a full on grin.  
“Sam! Seriously? You’ve been making deals with Crowley? Crowley? Come on, man, he’s the King of Hell!”  
“It’s not a deal, Dean, it’s a bet-“  
“You made a deal that if he won the bet you would give him money.”  
Sam groaned. “Dean-“  
“Hello, boys.” The familiar English accent chimed from across the room. Dean turned around in time to see Crowley reach for the bottle of whiskey on the counter.  
“I wouldn’t bother.” Dean said by way of greeting. “Hunter’s Helper isn’t really the stuff of kings.”  
“I love it when you tell me what to do, Dean. Touches me right where my bathing suit goes.” He laughed at Dean’s disgusted expression, but Sam just rolled his eyes- he’d heard that line before. “I heard you boys talking about me. I do believe you are in possession of funds that now belong to me, Gigantor.”  
Sam huffed, and shot a glare at Dean, who smirked as he watched his brother pull out his wallet. Presumptuous bastard, he thought as Sam tossed the money onto the table.  
“Pleasure doing business with you, Moose,” Crowley said. He snapped his fingers, and the money disappeared. “Dean, Cas, I wish you the best of luck.” He added, almost sounding sincere. And with that, he was gone.  
“So… what was your guess?” Dean asked his brother almost shyly.  
“Honestly?”  
“That would be preferable.” Cas said.  
Sam carded a hand through his hair. “I said never.”  
“But you just said that you knew there was something-“ Dean said incredulously.  
“I know. But the bet was for who guessed closest to when someone caught you guys actually together- and I didn’t think you would ever actually do anything. I didn’t think Dean would be able to admit he cared for someone that way after Lisa, and Cas obviously wasn’t going to do anything.” He shuffled from foot to foot, and then asked, “So, is this something that’s been going on long?”  
“No. Well-“  
“I don’t need details!” Sam shouted, holding his hands up as though they could block the words.  
“Believe me, I wasn’t going there.” Dean said. “All I’m saying is that we’ve done a shitty-ass job keeping this secret from everyone but ourselves. But yesterday-“  
“DEAN!” Cas and Sam shouted together. Dean just laughed.  
“I’m kidding. What are you doing here anyways Sam?”  
“Forgot the demon blade.” Sam said, walking over to the weapons bag. He pulled it out and tucked it inside his jacket. “So, I'm gonna go, and I'm going to get my own room. I’ll see you guys later.” He pulled the door open, and Dean could hear him muttering about stupid to bet against a demon, should’ve known they’d get their shit together. The door was nearly closed when Sam suddenly spun and stuck his head back in the room. “And get some work done!”  
***  
Dean and Cas did eventually get some work done- a fruitless effort, as fate would have it. The local authorities had negative nothing, and the survivor had died overnight.  
Sam had gone to his room roughly an hour ago. Since then, he and Cas had making out slowly, with less urgency than their other encounters.  
Dean was surprised he wasn’t freaking out about Sam knowing. He wasn’t convinced it would have made a difference- because damn, Cas just felt so good pressed beneath him. Speaking of…  
Cas suddenly bucked his hips, hard enough to roll Dean over onto his back, and slid on top of him. Cas’ mouth began to travel, placing kisses and nibbles all over his jaw, then began to kiss his neck. Dean groaned when Cas bit the skin on the side of his neck- not nearly hard enough. “Cas!” He gasped.  
Cas pulled back. “Did I hurt you?”  
“No- it felt good- a little harder though.”  
“But I don’t want to hurt-“  
“Cas-it doesn’t hurt. I like it.”  
With that, Cas’ lips temporarily returned to Dean’s, before travelling once more to his throat. He bit down harder this time- not so hard as to break the skin, but it would leave a mark. In response, Dean pressed his hips up into Cas’, and through the fabric of their pyjama pants, could feel that Cas was enjoying this just as much as he was.  
Dean reached up, but Cas suddenly grabbed both Dean’s wrists and held them above the hunters head. He held them there with one hand, and with the other traced his fingers along the jutting edge of Dean’s hip bone- then the waistband of his pants- Dean shuddered with pleasure. “Kiss me,” he gasped, and tried to pull Cas’ face back up to his from where he was planting kisses on Dean’s chest. He found his wrists still firmly grasped in Cas’ though, and was relieved when Cas didn’t tease him anymore than he already was- his long fingers were running back and forth across the waistband of Dean’s pants, and would occasionally slip just past the elastic barrier before pulling back again. Dean was going out of his mind, and did the only thing he could do- kissed Cas so passionately both their heads were spinning.  
Neither of them were ready to go any further that night, but they were content to continue exploring each other’s body’s and trade kisses for God-only-knows how long before they both fell asleep, Cas’ head on Dean’s chest.  
***  
The next morning, Dean woke up with Cas’ head tucked under his chin. Dean pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and was pleased when Cas snuggled a little closer.  
Dim light filtered through the window, telling him it was way too early to be asleep. He knew there was no chance he’d fall asleep now though. Instead, he held Cas a little tighter and watched as the light through the blinds grew slowly brighter.  
Eventually, Dean felt Cas stir, and knew that he would wake soon. He planted another kiss to the top of the angel’s head- because Cas would always be an angel at heart, grace or no grace- and slipped out of their bed. He grabbed his towel and slid into the bathroom, leaving the bathroom door open so Cas would know where he went.  
He pulled the shower curtain closed and squeezed some shampoo into his palm. He massaged the fragrant lather into his hair, and as the last of it was being rinsed out, he heard the shower curtain click open. He spun in surprise as Cas stepped over the lip of the tub.  
Dean must have looked as shocked as he felt, because Cas froze. “This isn’t crossing any lines, is it?”  
Dean shook his head and grabbed Cas’ hand, pulling them together. Cas carded his hand through Dean’s wet hair, and Dean ran his hands over Cas’ sides as their lips collided.  
Dean reached past Cas and grabbed the bar of soap off the shelf. He rolled it around in his hands before setting it back on the ledge and placed his hands on Cas’ shoulders, and slid them down the shorter man’s arms. He massaged the lather over Cas’ back, kissing him the entire time. When he finished, he spun his angel around so that Cas’ back was pressed to his chest. He began kissing Cas’ neck, adding in the occasional bite or nibble as his hands began their slow journey over his chest.  
None of the previous night’s reservations existed now- they were both ready for more. Cas’ breathing was growing laboured by the time Dean’s hands reached his hips. After a few moments of massaging his thighs, Dean reached down and grabbed Cas’ dick.  
“Dean!” Cas cried out, pressing back into Dean, who planted a trail of kisses down the angels shoulder. It wasn’t long before Cas was gasping, Dean’s name leaving his lips nearly constantly.  
As his orgasm ended, he spun around and pushed Dean up against the wall, and pressed their lips together again. He kissed the entire length of Dean’s torso as he sank to his knees. Dean looked down at the angel he undeniably loved and met his eyes- and within their lust-filled blue depths he could see apprehension.  
“Cas, you don’t have to-“  
“I want to Dean- I just- I don’t know how.”  
“Do what you think would feel good.”  
It didn’t feel good- it felt amazing. Hands down the best sex Dean had ever had.  
As the water began to run cold, Cas returned to a standing position and brushed his lips tenderly to Dean’s. “We should probably get ready for the day,” he whispered against Dean’s mouth.  
“Yeah- yeah, probably.” Dean’s voice was still shaky as his breathing returned to normal. Cas pulled back and offered the hunter a smile.  
“What?” Dean asked, smiling back.  
“It’s nothing,” Cas said, and reached past Dean to turn off the faucet just as the shower head shot a stream of headache-inducing cold water over them.  
***  
Over a week later, the trail was dead and they were still no closer to finding Metatron.  
“Son of a bitch!” Dean said, throwing the weapons bag on the floor.  
“Dean, don’t stress about it.” Cas said, following him into the room and calmly removing his shoes and trench coat. Underneath, he was wearing a pair of jeans and one of Dean’s old shirts.  
Sam was the last one into the room, and was carrying a bag of groceries- Cas was insisting that they eat healthier, which should piss Dean off to no end but somehow didn’t because he knew Cas was just trying to take care of him.  
As he closed the door, Sam eyed the extremely rumpled bed warily. Dean saw him, and as he pulled three beers from the fridge, said, “Dude, we’re dating.”  
“I know- it’s just a bit hard to adjust to.” Sam blushed at how ridiculous he was being. He was happy for both his brother and the angel, but it was a hard adjustment- Dean used to be the guy interested only in hooking up and avoiding commitment so that he didn’t hurt anyone, and now he was… well, Sam didn’t really know. Was he gay? Bi? It didn’t really matter to Sam, he loved his brother no matter what, but this new Dean was foreign to him.  
“Tell me about it.” Cas said, taking a beer from Dean. “I still find myself trying to look at him without being noticed.”  
“Well, no offence Cas, but you were never very good at that.” Sam said with a small laugh.  
“So I’ve gathered.”  
“What about you Dean?” Sam asked as he began to wash the lettuce.  
“Easier than I thought it would be. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm allowed to kiss him if I want to.” He smiled at the former angel, who was busy loading groceries into the fridge and didn’t see the look.  
Sam did, though, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Seeing Dean this happy brought back a version of his brother he hadn’t seen in, hell, eight years- it was a version he thought had died along with their father.  
The three prepared dinner together in comfortable silence, then sat down to eat together. Around nine, Sam went back to his room, and Dean and Cas went to bed- but it was a long time before either of them slept.  
***  
Dean lead Cas and Sam into the abandoned building, gun pointed out, sharp eyes sweeping the space before him. A shadow appeared on the wall ahead of him, and he silently sidestepped until he was pressed against the wall. The other two men mirrored his movements. Dean signaled for them to stay put, and as he pulled an angel blade from the inside of his jacket, moved forward until he met the source of the shadow. The angel had his back to Dean. He drove the handle of his gun into the vessel’s skull, and, as his knees buckled under the force, he drove the angel blade up into the angels back.  
Dean pulled the blade out and turned back to his brother and boyfriend. “Let’s move,” he stage whispered. Cas stepped out first, and as the light from a nearby exit sign lit his face, Dean watched Cas’ face change from a focused but relaxed expression to one of alarm.  
“Dean!” Cas shouted. He raised his arm out in front of him like he was about to go all Smitey-McSmiterson on some guys ass before remembering that he couldn’t.  
Dean hit the floor in a crouch, and felt the sting of a blade against his shoulder. Before the angel behind him had a chance to regain their balance and try again, he twisted and stood up, using the force of his body to drive the angel blade through the heart of the woman behind him. “Hasta la vista, bitch.” The light on the dying angel’s grace filled the hallway, and when it died out Dean scanned the area thoroughly before turning back to his companions.  
“Let’s go,” Cas said, storming past Dean and quickly marching forward.  
“Cas, wait-“ Dean grabbed Cas’ shoulder and spun him around.  
“Dean, no.” Cas said, placing his hand over Dean’s. “Let me go first, I can talk to them. There is no need for anyone else to die in this fight.”  
“Cas, they don’t want to talk.” Dean said sadly. “We’re beyond talking. And if you truly believe that no one else should lead, let me lead- without you’re powers, you aren’t as strong. I don’t want to lose you.” He added to take the sting out of his words. “I need you to have my back.” Cas nodded reluctantly, and fell into step behind Dean.  
They crept through the building, slaying a dozen more angels on their way to the heart of the building, were they believed Metatron was hiding.  
Dean was about to round a corner when he threw out his arm and moved back against the wall. There were two angels guarding a door, and two more stationed several feet further down the hall. It was the largest cluster they’d seen since entering the building.  
“I guess we found Metatron,” Dean said, turning to face the other two hunters. “Two guys guarding a door, and two about ten feet that way.” He said, signaling with his thumb.  
“What should we do?” Cas asked, concern filling his eyes. He hated letting Dean hunt now that he couldn’t heal him if he were to sustain a serious injury. But, as usual, Dean was cleaning up his mess- and Cas hated himself even more for ever having trusted Metatron- against Dean’s judgement- and put Dean in this situation at all. And that was why Cas was willing to let Dean call the shots- it always seemed to be Dean’s judgment that pulled them through. After Lucifer took over Sam, Cas and Bobby were willing to sit back and let the apocalypse happen, and it was Dean who stopped it. And who was it who warned Cas about working with Crowley and opening Purgatory? Dean. Who begged Cas to return the souls to Purgatory when he didn’t heed his warning? Dean. And it was Dean who saw the consequences of Cas’ actions when he was working with Metatron. So yeah, Cas was willing to let Dean call the shots, because it was bound to be Dean’s judgement that got them out of Cas’ mess alive.  
“Let me think for a sec.” Dean said. He rubbed his jaw for a minute, then peeked around the corner. When he turned back around, he said, “okay, Cas, you go after the female guard. She’ll be fast, so don’t hesitate. I’ll take the other guard. Sam, you get in position for when their buddies come. Cas, if you finish your guard first, help Sam. Remember, be quick, don’t hesitate.” Dean grimaced. He knew Cas had the skill to take on any opponent, but he didn’t know if Jimmy’s body had the strength without Cas’ grace to pack a punch.  
“Yes Dean… and if I finish second?”  
“Watch for anything coming the other way. When we clear, we’re going through the door.” Dean flipped his angel blade around in his hand. “Let’s go.”  
“Dean, wait,” Cas said, grabbing his boyfriends hand as he began to turn and tugged him close. He pressed their lips together for a brief moment, then closed his eyes and, wrapping his hand around the back of Dean’s neck, pressed their foreheads together. Dean closed his eyes too, and allowed them a brief moment of comfort before he kissed the tip of the angel’s nose and pulled back.  
“We need to go.”  
As they rushed around the corner, Dean kept his body in front of Cas’ for as long as possible before darting sideways at the last possible second. He blocked a blow with his forearm and drove the blade up towards the angel’s heart. The blade failed to find his mark, and he was knocked sideways with a blow to the head. He hit the ground and rolled, then leaped to his feet.  
The hallway lit up with the light of a dying angel, and Dean heard the thud of Cas’ opponent as she crumpled to the ground.  
“Dean!” Cas shouted, and the hunter could hear the panic in his voice. He heard Sam grunt as he collided with one of the other guards.  
“Help Sam- oof!” Dean grunted as his opponent kicked him in the side. Dean slammed into the wall, and crumpled to the ground. He blocked another blow, then lashed out with his blade. He felt the pressure of the blade entering the angel’s leg. He pulled it out, then shot to his feet. His opponent was bent over in pain, and he slammed the blade down between his shoulders. As the angel dropped to the ground, Dean’s eyes locked onto a sight that ran a chill down his back.  
Cas was lying on his back, an angel straddling his hips, and was holding back the tip of an angel blade aimed directly at his heart. The angel was pushing down on the blade, and though Cas was pushing it back, Dean could see it edging closer. The angel released the blade with one hand, and smashed his fist into the side of Cas’ head. Cas’ grip on the blade faltered, and it was driven down through his shoulder.  
Dean let his blade sail through the air, and as half the blade, disappeared into Cas’ body, Dean’s pierced the chest of Cas’ would-be murderer. Cas threw his uninjured arm over his eyes to protect them from the light of the grace dying out. The dead angel fell forward and knocked it’s blade out of Cas’ shoulder. Dean ran and slid to his knees, coming to a stop at his boyfriend’s side, then rolled the fallen angel off Cas. They heard a scream, and then the light of angel’s grace filled the hallway.  
A shadow fell over them as Sam rushed over. “Dean, we gotta go.” He said, his eyes sweeping the area, body tensed for another attack.  
“Yeah, just a sec,” Dean replied as he yanked his jacket off and pressed it to the oozing hole in Cas’ shoulder. One thing was certain- the trench coat was thoroughly destroyed.  
“Dean,” Cas said, grabbing Dean’s wrist. “You need to keep going. You must finish the mission. Metatron could be-“  
“Cas, no. It’s not happening.”  
“Cas is right, Dean, we can’t quit.”  
“It’s not happening, Sam!”  
“Then what do we do?” Sam asked, voice exasperated.  
“We leave.”  
“Dean, no.” Cas’ face hardened.  
“You’re injured. You can’t leave by yourself, we’re not leaving you, and you can’t keep going. Sometimes, a job goes sideways, and when it does we get the hell out.”  
“Dammit, Dean.”  
“It’s not up for discussion, Cas.” Dean fastened his jacket as securely as he could as a makeshift tourniquet, and then hauled Cas to his feet. The former angel looked for a moment like he might throw up, but, pale as he was, said, “let’s move.”  
“Sam,” Dean said, nodding towards the exit, and wrapped on arm around Cas to support him. Sam’s expression was grim, and Dean knew his brother would rip him a new one later, but Dean didn’t care. He was frustrated too- they’d been searching for Metatron for months, and were now abandoning their only lead- but he wasn’t going to risk the lives of the only family he had left for a shot at Metatron.  
***  
Dean attempted first aid in the car, but Cas was so pale that he insisted on a trip to the hospital. He and Cas were sitting in the back seat, and Cas’ head was resting wearily on Dean’s shoulder. Dean glanced at the ever-growing stain on his jacket.  
“He’s losing a lot of blood.”  
“Kay,” Sam said. Dean heard the roar of the engine as the car sped forward. Dean pressed a kiss to the top of his angel’s head.  
***  
Beep. Beep. Beep.  
Cas pried his eyes opened. He was lying in a hospital bed. He rolled his head lazily to the side. Dean was sitting in a chair, arms folded on the bed and acting as a makeshift pillow. Cas ran a hand through his beloved hunters hair, and twirled it around his fingers.  
“Dean?” Cas whispered. “Dean, where am I?” His voice was weak and raspy. He shrugged- then sat upright as a strangled yelp of pain escaped from his lips.  
Dean’s head snapped up and his hand disappeared into his jacket. “Dean, stop!” Cas shouted- or at least that was how he meant for it to come out. It actually came out barely above a whisper. His shoulder was on fire, and black spots danced across his vision.  
“What happened?” Dean asked, voice alarmed. His eyes snapped around the room, assessing the likelihood that some unseen enemy lurked in the shadows before he removed his hand from inside his jacket.  
Cas cleared his throat before speaking. “I moved my shoulder. Apparently I should not have done that.” His voice was still scratchy from disuse, but stronger than before.  
Dean relaxed back into his chair, and chuckled quietly. “Yeah, you definitely should avoid that.”  
Castiel groaned, and threw his good arm over his face. “Dean, you should have gone after Metatron.  
“Cas, we’ve already discussed this- in depth. You would have died if we stayed. Cas, babe, you mean more to me than anything- even catching Metatron.” Dean said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.  
Cas was about to reply when a doctor knocked lightly on the door.  
“Good to see you awake, Mr. Novak. How would rate your pain, on a scale from one to ten?”  
“It’s Winchester, actually, and the pain is fine. My shoulder hurts if I move it, but I expect that is normal.”  
“My mistake,” the doctor replied, eyes flicking to Dean. “If the pain gets any worse, just let me know.”  
“Thank you, Doctor,” Dean replied, eyes glued to Cas. When the doctor was gone, Cas met Dean’s eyes.  
“Why would you tell him my name is Novak?”  
“It was the only name I knew you’d reply to. And no one looking for us would look for that name.”  
“Oh… but you don’t want me using your name?”  
“What? No, Cas, if you want to use my name, I’m fine with it. In fact, I was meaning to talk to you about it for a while.” He stood and pressed a kiss to his angles forehead.  
Cas smiled. “Cas Winchester.” He took Dean’s hand in his own.  
***  
Cas was discharged the next day with a warning not to put unnecessary strain on his shoulder. Sam pick them up at the exit, and they drove in silence back to the motel room that they’d been staying at before their failed attempt at catching Metatron.  
Dean helped Cas out of the car, and Sam grabbed the weapons bag from the trunk and rushed ahead to open the door.  
At dinner that night, Dean suggested that they return to the bunker. “It would give us a chance to regroup, and Cas could get better.” He explained. “Plus, we haven’t checked on Kevin in a few months.”  
Sam was nodding. “There’s nothing more here- I went back to the warehouse were Metatron was. Every trace that there was ever anyone there is gone.”  
“My suggestion is that we sleep tonight, and leave first thing tomorrow morning,” Cas said as he stood, and rubbed absentmindedly at his shoulder.  
Sam yawned. “I’m gonna turn in early.” He stood and headed towards the door.  
As he neared the door, Dean called after his brother, “hey, will you call Kevin and see if he needs anything?” Sam nodded and disappeared through the door.  
Dean stood, and pulled Cas into his arms. He pressed their lips together briefly, the whispered, “you okay?”  
“Yes, Dean, I'm fine.” Cas leaned forward and kissed Dean. He reached out with his good arm and cradled his hunters face. “I love you, Dean.”  
Dean pulled back in surprise. He knew he loved Cas, and that Cas loved him, but they’d never said it before. “I love you, too,” he said, and pulled Cas down on top of him on the bed. He kissed Cas again, more urgently this time. Cas bit his lower lip, and Dean moaned, resisting the urge to flip Cas over onto his back. Instead, he rolled him gently onto his good arm, then his back. He straddled the angel’s hips, and planted kisses all over his face. Cas’ eyes fluttered closed, and Dean gently pressed kisses to his eyelids.  
Dean moved his mouth down over his boyfriends jaw, and began to unbutton Castiel’s shirt. The angel reached up to the hem of Dean’s shirt, but the hunter gently pressed his hands away.  
“Tonight is just for you,” he whispered against Cas’ skin. Cas sighed when Dean’s teeth scraped over his throat. Dean continued to unbutton the angel’s shirt, and Cas reached up to embrace his hunter. This time, Dean pinned Cas’ arms at his side. “Just let go,” he whispered, hovering over the angel.  
So Cas did.  
***  
Cas woke up on his good side in the middle of the night. He could feel Dean pressed against his back, the hunters body curled around his, and his arm was thrown over Cas’ waist. He snuggled back, and drifted back to sleep.  
Suddenly, he was back in Lucifer’s crypt, Dean bloody and beaten at his feet.  
He felt is fist connect with Dean’s face, but had no control over his body. He willed his body to stop, but could feel Naomi’s presence, forcing him to hit Dean again.  
“Cas, please,” Dean said, voice shaky. “We’re family.”  
I know, Dean. I’m sorry, Cas wanted to say, but nothing came out. Instead, he felt his arm draw back before crashing down on Dean’s head again.  
Part of Cas was sobbing, pleading and screaming at himself to stop. He wanted to drop to his knees at Dean’s side, beg his forgiveness, tell him he loved him, anything but hit his beloved again.  
But that part of Cas, Dean’s Cas, wasn’t in control. Naomi’s Cas was. She stripped away everything that made him “Cas,” and left only Heaven’s obedient soldier, Castiel.  
Cas watched as the angel blade flipped around in Castiel’s hand, blade pointed down at Dean.  
No! He pleaded with himself. But it made no difference. He heard Naomi’s voice in his head- finish it, Castiel-and he was forced to watch as he hauled Dean to his feet before driving the angel blade into him.  
“No!” Cas screamed, but this time the words were ripped from his lips. He felt Dean jerk awake beside him, and in his peripheral vision watched the hunter’s hand slide beneath his pillow.  
“Cas!” He heard Dean yell, and he hurled himself into the hunter’s arms. He was sobbing into Dean’s chest, and the hunter’s shirt was grasped firmly in his hands. Dean wrapped his arms around his distraught angel, and kissed his head.  
“Cas, baby, I'm right here. No one will hurt you.” Cas sobbed even harder at that- he wasn’t scared for himself. He was scared for Dean.  
Although he was curious and worried, Dean didn’t press for details. He knew Cas needed time to calm down and readjust to being in the real world, not whatever torture Cas had created for himself.  
Eventually, Cas’ sobs turned to tremors as he calmed. Dean continued to rub the angel’s back, and eventually he heard Cas whisper, “Dean?”  
“Mhmm?”  
“You know I’d never hurt you, right?”  
“I know, Cas.” Dean whispered. “I trust you.”  
Cas twisted in Dean’s hold so that he was straddling the hunters hips. Their lips collided as Cas tried to reassure himself that Dean was okay, more than okay, that he was here, and that he loved him. Dean was muttering nonsense words of comfort to him as Cas kissed his neck, but, as much as Cas enjoyed them, he didn’t want the reminder of the hellish nightmare he’d just escaped. He wanted Dean to make him forget.  
“Dean,” he whispered against his lips. “I want to go all the way.”  
“What?” Dean asked, pulling back. He cradled the angel’s face in his hands so that Cas was forced to meet his eyes.  
“Please?” Cas asked, eyes sure.  
Dean hesitated. “I don’t want to hurt you, ever, and this will hurt.”  
“It’s what I want.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yes,” Cas answered immediately. Dean searched the other man’s face for any hesitation or reservation, but found none.  
“Okay,” Dean said. He was still nervous, but also excited. He rolled Cas over, and removed his own shirt before removing Cas’. He planted kisses all over Cas’ body, sucking and biting some places and all but ignoring others. It wasn’t long before the remaining clothing was scattered across the room. They continued kissing for what seemed like hours, and when Dean finally pushed into Cas, they both moaned with pleasure. The nightmare was quickly forgotten as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over them. When they finally fell asleep again, Cas dreamed of Dean, and how one day he’d like to bake him pie and burgers and they wouldn’t have to hunt.  
***  
Dean instinctively knew that Cas wasn’t ready to talk about the nightmare- every time Dean touched him, Cas somehow managed to look guilty as he leaned into the touch. But Dean would smile, and only look worried when Cas wasn’t looking.  
Around nine, there was a soft knock at the door. Dean stood up from the table and squeezed Cas’ shoulder as he passed. The angel didn’t look up from the book he was reading, but sighed when the gentle pressure of Dean’s hand was gone.  
“I'm coming!” Dean shouted when there was a second louder, more insistent knock. He opened the door for his brother, and Sam handed him a coffee as he passed. “Thanks,” Dean rumbled, yawning as he popped the top off. The rich aroma greeted him, and he took a sip. He scowled when the drink scalded his tongue and set it on the table to cool.  
“What’s for breakfast?” Sam asked as he set Cas’ tea down on the table in front of him. Cas still didn’t look up from his book, but muttered a thank you as he flipped the page. Sam glanced at his brother and raised an eyebrow, but Dean just shook his head.  
“I think we’re stopping somewhere on our way to the bunker,” Dean answered. He stood behind Cas and wrapped his arms around the angels shoulders. Cas finally closed his book and pressed a kiss to the inside of Dean’s arm. Dean felt his lips curl into a small smile and he squeezed Cas in a makeshift hug.  
Sam looked around the room. “You planning on packing or are you waiting for magic cleaning fairies to show up?”  
Dean scowled at the mention of fairies and looked around at the admittedly messy room. “I'm not in any hurry.” He said grumpily. “Besides, I think Cas wants to hang out here for a bit before we leave.”  
“I’m fine, Dean,” Cas said, irritation making his words sound bitter.  
Sam’s eyes flicked between them. “Everything alright guys?” he asked.  
“Fine.” Cas said, pulling out of Dean’s arms and slipping into the bathroom.  
To which Sam’s reply was a very clear and well-rehearsed bitchface.  
“Yeah, I know.” Dean said in response. He picked up his coffee and stared at it as the shower came alive in the other room. “Cas has nightmares,” he said reluctantly, knowing Cas probably didn’t want anyone else to know about them- he had kept them secret for months, after all. “Bad ones- last night was particularly shitty.”  
“What was it?” Sam asked, concerned for both his brother and Cas- Cas was noticeably out of sorts, and he knew Dean well enough to know his brother was upset about the situation, even if he wasn’t showing it.  
“Hell if I know.” Dean said, taking another sip of his coffee. “He won’t tell me. But it’s the worst one I’ve seen.” He glanced at the bathroom door.  
Sam frowned. “So this isn’t a onetime thing?”  
Dean shook his head. “Usually Purgatory and Godstiel take the stage, but once or twice it’s been about the Fall. He has them most nights.”  
“Poor guy.” Sam shook a sympathetic look at the bathroom door.  
“I thought they were getting better.” Dean said, swallowing the last few mouthfuls of his coffee. “Guess not.” He set the empty mug on the table and began tossing clothes into duffel bags.  
Sam felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and read the text from Kevin- the bunkers running low on non-perishables.  
Okay. Sam typed back. We’ll stop and grab some stuff. He sent the message, and as an afterthought sent another. Crowley won the bet by the way.  
Kevin’s reply was instantaneous- Mother-effing shit on a stick!!! For real!?!  
Sam chuckled and sent a quick reply before sliding his phone into his pocket. Cas came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his narrow hips. Sam grabbed the keys to the Impala off the table and grabbed one of the bags stacked by the door. “I’ll start packing the car.”  
As the door swung shut, Dean stopped emptying the fridge and walked over to Cas, who was pulling on the jeans Dean had left out for him. He picked up the T-shirt Dean had set with them, but the hunter gently pulled it out of the angel’s hands and turned Cas to face him.  
“Listen, Cas, I know you might not be ready to tell me about it, or maybe you just don’t want to, I don’t know, but you can talk to me if you want to-“  
Cas leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s, then pulled the hunter against him for a one-armed hug. He buried his face in Dean’s neck, and Dean wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.  
Finally, Cas muttered, “It was the crypt.” He said, knowing Dean would understand exactly what he meant. “Except I killed you. Dean, I’m sorry-“  
“Stop,” Dean said, pulling back. “That was Naomi, not you. Cas, baby, you can’t think I blame you for that, can you?” Cas made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. “Well, I don’t. so you can stop feeling guilty.” Cas nodded and looked down. “Hey,” Dean said gently, tilting the angels chin up so that they were eye to eye. “I love you.”  
Tears welled up in Cas’ eyes. “I love you, too,” he choked out. He pulled Dean close, and the hunter kissed the angels hair.  
The door opened behind them, and Dean squeezed Cas before letting go. “Car’s packed. Just waiting for you guys,” Sam said.  
Dean nodded and tossed the rest of the laundry in a bag as Cas tugged his shirt over his head. They headed out to the Impala, and Dean slammed her trunk closed after the bags. Sam tossed him the keys and climbed into the back seat. Dean and Cas exchanged a look, but shrugged- they weren’t going to complain if Sam was willing to give up his birthright in favour of the backseat.  
***  
Cold water poured down around them as Kevin’s voice rang over a megaphone through the front room of the bunker. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundas spiritus, omnis satanica potestas-“ Kevin stopped himself when none of them reacted to the exorcism.  
“Sorry, can’t be too careful.” He said, his voice quieter without the aid of the megaphone.  
“Been watching Home Alone again, Kevin?” Dean asked as he wiped the holy water off his face.  
Kevin stood from behind an overturned table, crossbow in hand. “No,” he said, indignant. “Simply being cautious.”  
Dean nodded his approval, and took Cas’ bag from him. Kevin raised his eyebrow at Sam, who didn’t see the expression- he was watching his brother and Cas warmly. Dean followed the former angel down the stairs, and his eyes darkened when Cas rubbed at his shoulder as if he were in pain.  
Dean couldn’t deny that he was worried- the injury was serious, and as much as Cas pretended it didn’t bother him, Dean could tell it did. But he was also angry- at himself, for failing to protect Cas, and at Metatron.  
He slipped his hand into Cas’ and tugged him towards his room. “Come on. We’ll get you settled in.” Cas nodded wearily. “I’ll make burgers for dinner tonight,” he called over his shoulder.  
He flipped the door to his room open, and flipped the lights on. He set his and Cas’ bags on the floor, then turned to Cas with a grin on his face, saying, “We’ll do laundry and put your clothes away tomorrow.” He pulled Cas in for a hug, and the angel fell, exhausted, into his arms. “Why don’t you lie down for a bit before dinner?”  
Cas nodded and whispered a barely audible, “will you lie with me? Just for a little bit?” Dean nodded, and they curled up together on the bed.  
“It’s comfy,” Cas muttered sleepily.  
“It’s memory foam,” Dean whispered, and pressed a kiss to his angels temple. “It remembers you, and now you always have a place here.” Cas was asleep almost instantly, and Dean rolled out of their bed.  
When he walked into the kitchen, Sam was explaining the Metatron situation to Kevin. Dean silently began making dinner.  
“So,” Kevin began, “it’s great to have you guys home for a bit, but if he’s out there, why are you in here?”  
“Cas was stabbed a few days ago in a raid.” Dean said, dumping breadcrumbs into his hand, and eye-balling how much he would need before dumping it all on top of the ground beef. Kevin’s eyes widened and he thought back to Dean’s angry expression when Cas had rubbed at his shoulder.  
“Is he okay?”  
“He will be- he’s a little weak from the blood loss, but he’ll make it.” Dean glanced in the direction of the bedroom he now shared with Cas and began shaping the burgers into patties. “He has to,” he whispered to himself.  
Almost an hour later, Cas wandered into the kitchen. His hair was mussed and his jeans rumpled, and he was tugging one of Dean’s old hoodies into place. Dean grinned at him, and Cas smiled back as he kissed the hunters cheek.  
“How are you feeling?” Dean asked. He kept a smile on his face and masked his concern as best he could, but Cas saw right through his façade. He squeezed Dean’s shoulder reassuringly.  
“I’m fine, babe.” He smiled, and Dean found himself believing his angel.  
“Hey Cas,” Kevin called from the table, where he was translating some fancy-shmancy ancient text on the finer points of medieval witchcraft as seen by the Church salvaged from Bobby’s house that Dean was certain they’d never need. But hey, he wasn’t about to pee in the kids cheerios- if he wanted to read hundreds of pages of Germanic gibberish translated by an illiterate monk, he could. Really, Dean was just pretty sure Kevin missed his old life and wanted to do some sort of homework unrelated to his prophet duties.  
“Hello, Kevin,” Cas said, and smiled at the young prophet. Cas watched as Dean chopped at a head of broccoli, then asked, “What can I do to help?”  
Dean pressed a knife into his hand, and then pointed to a head of cauliflower with his own knife. “Chop.” He commanded. Cas nodded, and went to work on the questionably disgusting vegetable. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Dean dumped the broccoli into a bowl and added chopped bacon and shredded cheese. Cas raised his eyebrows in concern when Dean mixed together mayo, white sugar and vinegar. “Trust me,” Dean said, scooping the cauliflower into the bowl. “I wouldn’t eat it if it wasn’t delicious.”  
Dean poured the mayo mixture into the bowl and pushed it towards Cas. “Mix that up for me please.” Then he turned, tossed four burger buns in the microwave, pulled the burgers out of the oven, and pulled the condiments from the fridge. When the microwave beeped, he put the buns on the plate, then called, “dig in,” before assembling a burger and taking a heaping scoop of the broccoli and cauliflower… concoction- which they’d all been eying warily, but shrugged at the sight of Dean’s portion.  
They sat down together at the table, and Kevin was the first to try the salad. He took a tentative bite, and his eyes widened. “Holy shit Dean,” he said around a second forkful of food, “this is delicious!” Dean grinned, and took a bite out of his burger- which were also pretty awesome, if he did say so himself. He watched as Sam and Cas both tried the salad, and mentally patted himself on the back at their appreciative noises. They looked at Dean in amazement.  
“I learned a thing or two living with Lisa.” He said by way of an explanation. Cas smiled at him- he wasn’t jealous of Lisa, nor did he begrudge Dean his memories of his time with her. That year was part of who Dean was- that, and Dean loved Cas now, and he wasn’t going to be jealous of a memory.  
After dinner, Sam and Kevin cleaned the kitchen, and Dean changed the bandages on  
Cas’ shoulder and cleaned the would the way he’d been taught at the hospital. Cas winced, and Dean’s hands stilled.  
“Cas-“  
“Dean, I’m not an infant. I’ve endured far worse pain than this in my many millennia- I can deal. However, if you could bring yourself to refrain from prolonging the experience, I would appreciate it.”  
Sam and Kevin chuckled, and Dean threw a glare at them.  
“Sorry,” he muttered, turning back to Cas.  
“Dean?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You worry too much.” He smiled up at Dean. “I really am fine. The doctors would not have discharged me if I wasn’t.”  
Dean couldn’t really argue with that, but he could sure try. “I know,” he said. (Okay so maybe he couldn’t.) “I just worry. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
Cas laid his hand over Dean’s, and squeezed his fingers. “You’ll never have to know. I’m not going anywhere.”  
Dean bent down and pressed their lips together. When he pulled back, he stared at Cas in amazement.  
“What?” Cas asked.  
“I don’t know… I guess I was just thinking about how much I love you.”  
Cas grinned. “I love you too.” He loved how easily the words rolled off his tongue. He loved the domesticity of the situation. He loved the way the bunker already felt like home, more than Heaven ever had. He loved that he could love Dean.  
He loved Dean, and everything about him. Each freckle- which he’d tried counting hundreds of times but never seemed to able to could all of them. His green eyes, which always seemed so full of life and good and purpose. He loved the way he could tell he was important because Dean would let his walls down around him. He loved Dean’s bravery and selflessness, his intelligence. He smiled as he added culinary prowess to the list. He loved Dean’s ability to forgive- hell, at this point he depended on that particular trait. It had certainly saved him more than once.  
Dean finished dressing Cas’ wound, then took the angel’s hands and hauled him to his feel. “Wanna watch a movie?”  
“What movie?” Cas asked.  
“I don’t know- anything really.”  
“Lord of the Rings?” Kevin suggested.  
Cas frowned. “How does one become a lord of rings?”  
“Lord of the Rings it is.” Dean said, smiling.  
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Cas muttered to himself. “A ring is an inanimate object. They don’t need any governing.”  
Dean rolled his eyes. “Relax Cas, you’ll understand after the movie.”  
***  
Cas did not understand.  
“There is no spell in any realm or parallel universe where a ring could possess such power.” He said when Dean asked him what he thought of the first movie.  
“That’s the point, Cas.” Sam said, somewhat exasperated. “It’s fiction, it’s not supposed to be real.”  
Cas frowned. “I don’t understand.”  
Dean smiled. “It’s a story, Cas.”  
A shard of understanding dawned in Cas’ eyes. “I believe I understand now.” He yawned suddenly.  
Dean stood up from the couch and offered Cas his hand. “Come on, let’s get to bed. Night guys.” He called over his shoulder as they left the room.  
They were almost in their room when Cas suddenly shoved Dean into the wall and kissed him roughly. Dean was so startled that he didn’t respond right away, and when he did it was too late- Cas’ mouth had already left Dean’s and was travelling over Dean’s jaw to his neck. Cas grabbed the hunter’s wrists and pinned them against the hunter’s sides and pressed into him to hold him against the wall as he bit into the skin at the base of Dean’s neck. Dean moaned, and Cas looked up. “I want you to hold still,” he said as he released the hunters wrists and undid his pants. “And I want you to be quiet. Wouldn’t want your brother and Kevin guessing what we’re doing out here in the hallway.” Dean nodded frantically. Cas sank to his knees and pressed kisses to Dean’s hip bones and pelvic area before actually wrapping his lips around Dean’s dick. Dean grunted and thrust hips slightly, but otherwise did as his angel had told him.  
After Dean came, Cas stood and zipped him back up. He pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips, and this time Dean responded. They made out in the hallway for ages, and when Cas reached between them, he could feel that Dean was already hard again. Cas pulled back, and smiled as he tugged the hunter towards their bedroom.  
***  
The next morning, Dean woke up alone. He could hear the faint sound of classic rock, and the smell of bacon dragged him from bed.  
He wandered into the kitchen still rubbing sleep from his eyes. Cas smiled at him from where he was standing at the stove. “Good morning, Dean,” he said as he poured coffee into a mug.  
“Morning,” Dean grunted. He took the coffee with one hand and slipped the other beneath the hem of Cas’ shirt and kissed him good morning. He looked around. “What are you doing?”  
“Making pancakes and bacon,” Cas declared proudly.  
Dean smiled. “Well, that explains this,” He said as he wiped a glob of pancake mix from Cas’ cheek. Cas blushed, and turned back to the stove. He scooped several pancakes onto a platter and handed it to Dean. “Bacon’s in the study,” he said. “I’m just gonna grab the syrup.” Dean carried the pancakes into the study and was followed closely by the angel.  
He and Cas were nearly finished when Sam and Kevin wandered into the library, minutes apart, pancakes in hand. The classic rock station was playing quietly from a radio in the corner, and they were all laughing about some of the more humorous cases they’d dealt with over the years. They’d taken the liberty of telling Kevin about Gabriel.  
“Over a hundred times?” Kevin asked, astounded.  
“Yeah, it was this time loop- Dean doesn’t remember any of it, but he would die on a Tuesday, and I would wake up on a Tuesday, and then he would die again.” Sam explained, not exactly seeing the humour in this particular case.  
“Like Groundhog Day?” Kevin asked.  
“Yes.” Sam said, his bitchface gracing his features.  
“That’s-“  
“Crazy?” Sam supplied.  
“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Like-“  
“Dingo-ate-my-baby-crazy?” Sam asked.  
“Something like that.”  
Cas an Dean smiled and intertwined their hands. “Sam swears it happened,” Dean said. “But I don’t remember anything but him acting like a freak on Tuesday and extra sappy on Wednesday.”  
“Well can you blame me?” Sam said. “I thought you’d already died and gone to Hell.”  
“Wait, why would Dean be in Hell?” Kevin asked.  
All three men looked at Kevin. “What?” They said together.  
“You said Dean went to Hell. I thought only people who made deals went to… oh.” Kevin blushed, Sam and Cas looked sad, and Kevin couldn’t even figure out what Dean’s expression was- it was said, and there was a lot of pain, but something else Kevin couldn’t label.  
“Sam was dead,” Dean said. “I couldn’t think of another way to save him, so I sold my soul for his life. Got a year to live. I was in Hell for four months in Earth time, but in Hell time moves differently. I was there for forty years. I started the apocalypse.” Dean laughed, and it was a sound mostly devoid of humour. “How many people can say that?”  
“Uh, two.” Sam said, smiling. Kevin wasn’t interested in the apocalypse story though- he wanted to hear about how Dean go out.  
“I thought people who made deals got ten years?”  
“Sam and Dean had a reputation for getting people out of their deals. The demon’s didn’t want them to have the opportunity to find a way out of the contract.” Cas said. “My garrison was assigned to rescuing the righteous man- Dean- from Hell.”  
“Is this some sort of warped how I met your mother story?” Kevin asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. Sam chocked on his orange juice, and Dean and Cas burst out laughing.  
“I guess in a way it is.” Dean said. “The first thing I ever did was stab Cas in the chest- we didn’t know what had yanked me from the pit, and when a psychic told us it was something called Castiel, we didn’t know what to expect. So I stabbed him with the demon blade.”  
Kevin laughed, and Cas raised a finger. “Correction, that was the second thing. First you shot me.” At that Kevin laughed harder, and Dean said, “True.”  
“No wonder it’s taken so long.” Kevin muttered.  
A sudden rumble cut their laughter off. Cas and Dean looked alarmed, and Sam ran over to the locked drawer where the =y kept extra angel blades hidden. He threw three of them onto the table and pulled out an extra for himself.  
“Kevin, get to the dungeon.” Dean instructed. “Lock the door behind you, and set up a banishing sigil. Do not leave that room until one hour after you hear the fighting stops. If we need in, we’ll say Pamela. If you don’t hear that, don’t open the door.” Kevin nodded and sprinted down the hallway.  
The rumbling continued for several more minutes. Dean was standing next to the radio when the rumbling suddenly stopped. Dean reached out and cranked the volume. “Let’s dance,” he said as the door to the bunker was blasted off. Angels poured through the door, and began to run down the stairs. The three men raced towards the main room to meet them, and Dean gestured towards the stairs. Sam and Cas went to the base of the staircase and were immediately met by angels. They were able to hold them off long enough for Dean to shimmy up one of the large pillars.  
“Hand over the prophet, Kevin Tran, and the rest of you will be allowed to live.” Metatron’s voice echoed through the room. Yeah right, Dean thought. He swung his body up over the railing as Sam and Cas were pushed farther into the main room of the bunker. Dean quickly dispatched Metatron’s three guards, and as he flipped the body of the third over the railing, he watched Cas dart up onto the table. Atta boy, Dean thought before turning to face Metatron.  
“Why are you doing this?” He asked. “And not just the raid- all of it.”  
“I want to be God,” Metatron said, feigning confusion. “A better God than my father.”  
Dean scoffed. “Buddy, I’ve seen some shitty gods. I mean, Jesus, Cas was God. But at least Cas was doing it because he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing, and he was saving more people than he was hurting. But you’re doing this just because you want to. You’re no God- you’re barely even an angel.”  
“I don’t expect you to understand, Dean, you’re a man of little faith. But there are still people who want a God, one who can love them. I can give them that. I understand them. And after Kevin Tran is dead, there will be nothing you or anyone can do to stop me.”  
Dean lunged. He easily got Metatron pressed up against the wall, and had his angel blade at his throat in seconds. He vaguely noticed Carry on my Wayward Son start playing as he roared, “STOP!” Everyone on the ground froze and looked up as the opening guitar solo played. “Everyone out of the bunker or this dickbag gets a knife in the throat.” He bellowed. The angels had just lowered their weapons when Dean felt a blade sink into the front of his leg. He released Metatron with a grunt of pain.  
“Son of a-“ his words were cut off as he was blasted back into the railing.  
“Dean!” Cas shouted.  
“Carry on my wayward son…”  
Dean pushed to his feet.  
“There’ll be peace when you are done…”  
He looked up and saw Metatron right in front of him, and gasped as an angel blade pierced his chest.  
“NO!” Sam bellowed.  
“Lay your weary hear to rest…”  
“Dean!” Cas screamed.  
“Don’t you cry no more. NO!” Dean’s body crumpled to the ground as the second guitar solo started.  
***  
All the angels stood still as they watched the renowned Dean Winchester fall at the hands of their leader. Sam was frozen as he watched his brother fall. Cas was the first one to move.  
As his heart kicked into high gear, he jumped off the table and grabbed the angel closest to him. He cut her throat and swallowed her grace as she died.  
He felt the angelic grace take hold inside him, followed by a surge of power. “Sam, cover your eyes!” he shouted. Hoping Sam had listened, he sent out a surge of energy so powerful he obliterated every angel in the bunker, Metatron included.  
***  
“Sam, cover your eyes!” Dean heard Cas shout, and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard a few pained shouts, then the thunder of feet on the stairs.  
Not now, he prayed as his chest pumped out blood. Not when Cas and I have finally found each other.  
“Dean, no!” Cas fell to his knees beside the dying hunter. Dean saw Sam kneel beside his angel, and they were both on the brink of tears. Cas moved Dean’s head and shoulders into his lap.  
I’m not ready to die, Dean thought for the first time in his life. He’d always been so willing to die, there had always been someone else with more right to live than he. But for the first time in his life, he had something- someone- to live for. Meg’s words drifted through his head- a reason to get up in the morning. Cas had finally given his life meaning and purpose- one that was more than Sammy and the family business- and now he had to say goodbye.  
Instead of saying any of that though, he gasped out, “Kevin, you gotta find Kevin, he’s-“  
“Dean, shh, it’s okay. Kevin is fine.” Tears were flowing freely down the angels face.  
Dean reached up and cupped the angels face. “I love you. So much,” he felt tears run over his own cheeks. Cas nodded, and several drops fell on Dean’s face.  
“I love you, Dean,” Cas said, smoothing the hunters rumpled hair.  
Dean could no longer hold his arm up, and it fell to the ground at his side.  
“Sammy, I’m sorry,” Dean said, looking at his brother.  
“Don’t you do that.” Tears spilled over Sam’s face now too. “Don’t say goodbye.”  
“Sam, take care of Cas.” Dean pleaded. He was feeling weaker every second.  
“Cas, heal him-“ Sam was beginning to panic- he couldn’t watch his brother die again. Then he noticed Cas’ hands were already glowing.  
“I’m trying- he’s too far gone, it’s not working.” Cas sobbed brokenly.  
Dean felt cold all over, and he noticed Tessa standing behind Sam. “Tessa’s here.” He whispered. Sam’s eyes widened, and Cas’ hands dug into his shoulder. “Sammy...” Breathing was getting harder.  
“Dean, you’re gonna be okay-“  
“Sam, I gotta say this… I’m proud of us…”  
As the final cords of Carry on my Wayward Son played, Dean took his final breath.  
“Dean?” Cas said brokenly. “Dean, no. Don’t leave me. Please!” He began to cry harder. Sam bent forward with his head in his hands and sobbed.  
Cas began to grow more frantic. “Dean! Wake up! Please wake up! You son of a bitch, don’t leave me here without you!” He hugged Dean’s head to his chest and sobbed.  
It felt like hours later when he felt a calmness settle over him. He kissed Dean’s eyelids, then his mouth. “I’ll bring you back, my love.” He whispered, and disappeared.  
***  
Sam was left to burn the bodies alone. He threw a pack of matches onto the pyre and watched are the flames engulfed his brother and Kevin. The prophet had never even made it to the dungeon.  
Grief surged up in him, and he didn’t bother to stop his tears, instead he allowed them to fall like rain. He’d lost everyone. Even Cas was gone. And he was angry. He’d been left alone to deal with the death of his brother and friend, and as soon as Cas had his wings back, he disappeared- just like Dean feared he would. Sam had pushed the funeral back as long as he could, but days later, he was still as alone as he had been mere hours after their deaths.  
***  
When Cas left, he knew he was leaving Sam with a heavy burden. He knew it wasn’t fair- he loved Dean, and he should have stayed with Sam longer. But he had to go. Sam would forgive him. But first he had to bring Dean back.  
His first stop was Dean’s bedroom. He hadn’t even meant to go there, it was just natural. He looked around the room, and saw the sweater he had been wearing the night before discarded on the floor. He picked it up, and changed into Dean’s clothes, ill-fitted as they were. The last thing he put on as an afterthought was Dean’s leather jacket- the one that had been his fathers. He stood hugging himself for a moment and stared at the bed he and Dean had shared only once. Cas imagined he could still see the imprint of their bodies in the mattress.  
“I’m sorry, Dean,” he said to the empty room. “I should have been there to save you, the way you’ve always been there for me. I failed you, Dean.” He felt tears well up in his eyes. “I love you.”  
He wasn’t sure where to begin looking for Dean- Heaven was closed, so Dean was somewhere inthe veil. He could tell Dean wasn’t in the bunker… but that left the rest of the planet to search.  
He scoured the earth for weeks with no sign of Dean. He spoke to ghost after ghost, some of whom flat out refused to speak to him, and some saying that they didn’t even know Dean was dead. Cas was reminded of their hunt for Metatron, only he was a lot lonelier.  
He could feel his stolen grace fading, and his search grew more frantic as he realized he didn’t know how much time he had left as an angel.  
It had been three weeks since Dean died, and Cas had no sign that he was inside the veil. He was losing his mind going over the events of the morning, and suddenly realized he missed something.  
Dean’s voice echoed in his head. Tessa’s here.  
“Son of a bitch. Tessa.”  
It was another week before he found Tessa. She was reaping someone in Nepal (at least, Cas was pretty sure he was in Nepal.). She was standing in the street next to a totaled Chevy, and she had her arm wrapped around the shoulders of a dazed young woman. “You ready?” Tessa said, and the girl nodded.  
Cas appeared right behind the reaper and slammed her into the side of the car. “Where’s Dean?” he shouted, and pressed an angel blade to her throat.  
“Castiel? What are you-“  
“Dean Winchester died three months ago. He said you reaped him. Where is he?”  
Tessa’s eyes were wide and terrified, but she spoke calmly. “I cannot tell you that.”  
She gasped when Cas pressed the blade harder against her throat. “Tessa, tell me or I swear to God-“  
“Why?” She shouted.  
“Because I love him! And now he’s gone.” He let his arms fall to his sides. “I miss him so much. I just want to bring him back. Please, Tessa.” His throat ached with unshed tears.  
Tessa sighed. “He wanted to make his death mean as much as his life. It wasn’t enough for him to die saving people; he needed to keep saving people. So Death gave him a special assignment- freeing innocent souls from Hell.” Castiel felt his heart squeeze. “He’s at the Devil’s Gate in Wyoming- inside Samuel Colt’s Devil’s Trap. He only goes in when Death gives the order. He should be at the cemetery now.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Oh, and Castiel?” Tessa called as he turned away. “This is the last time Death will allow a Winchester to be brought back. Those boys have already been brought back too many times. I guarantee it won’t happen again.”  
No, Cas thought as he disappeared. It won’t.  
***  
Dean was sitting under a tree in the cemetery daydreaming about what he and Cas would be doing if he wasn’t dead. It had been three weeks since he’d heard or seen his angel, and somehow it wasn’t getting any easier. He figured it had something to do with the fact that it had been two weeks since his last assignment.  
So, he had a lot of time to daydream. In his head he and Cas were trying to bake a pie, and Sam was laughing at them. They put the pie in the oven, and Suspicious Minds came on by Elvis. Dean grabbed Cas and swung him around the room in an energetic dance.  
“You listen to Elvis?” DreamCas said, laughing.  
“It’s my guilty pleasure.” Dean said as they spun around the room.  
It was then that Dean heard the crunch of shoes landing on grass and dead leaves. “Hey, Death, you really gotta stop forgetting about me man.” He stood and turned. “I- Cas?” He whispered. Cas was standing a few feet away from him, wearing jeans and his Dad’s old jacket.  
“I could never forget about you, Dean.” Cas said as he walked forward. He stood an arm’s length away and whispered, “I can’t believe it’s you.” Dean couldn’t move, and didn’t dare speak- he was terrified he was hallucinating. Concern darkened Cas’ eyes. “Dean?”  
Something cracked inside Dean at the broken sound in his angel’s voice. “God, I’ve missed you.” He grabbed the front of Cas’ shirt and closed the distance between them. Their lips met in a passionate kiss that could have set fire to the Earth in a blazing inferno, and it was only when they were both out of breath that they finally broke apart. Cas pulled Dean into a rib crushing hug and inhaled deeply- the smell of Dean had worn off the clothes ages ago.  
“Come home,” he whispered. He pulled back and looked at Dean. “Come home, baby. I can bring you back. Sam and I miss you so much.”  
Dean hesitated before saying, “I have one condition.”  
***  
Sam sat with a bottle of whiskey clenched in his hand. It had been exactly 97 days since Dean had died, and he’d exhausted his resources- there was nothing about how to bring someone back that wouldn’t put them in this situation in reverse a year from now. Cas wasn’t answering his prayers either.  
He launched the bottle at the wall as a wave of crushing sadness washed over him. It exploded into hundreds of tiny pieces, and the whiskey ran down the wall.  
“Really Sam? What did that bottle ever do to you?” Dean’s voice rang through the bunker. Sam jumped to his feet and spun around.  
“Dean?” His brother was standing there, good as new, Cas at his shoulder.  
“In the flesh,” Dean said, grinning. “Come here, Sammy, give your big brother a hug.” Sam stumbled forward and embraced his brother. He stared at Cas over Dean’s shoulder and mouthed you?  
Cas nodded. “I’m sorry, Sam. I should have stayed-“  
“No, Cas it’s fine.” Sam said, stepping back. “You’ve been looking for him this whole time?”  
“Yes- it proved harder than anticipated, and I used the last of my grace putting him back together.”  
Dean flung his arm around the angel’s shoulders. “It’s better this way.” He said, and kissed his temple. “Where’s Kevin?” He asked his brother. Sam’s face fell. “What happened?” Dean switched to hunter mode without even noticing.  
Cas heard it though, and looked at Dean sharply. “Dean, remember our deal.”  
“What deal?” Sam asked.  
“I told Cas I’d only come back if we stopped hunting. Got a house, settled down. Got real jobs.” Sam stared at his brother. “You want to stop hunting?”  
“Well, not completely. But stay out of harm’s way, and do what Bobby did. Obviously we’d take care of local cases, but I think we’ve saved the world enough times to earn early retirement.” Dean looked at his brother sadly. “So, what happened to Kevin?”  
“The angel’s killed him. He never even made it to the dungeon.”  
Cas felt his heart sink. “I’m sorry, Sam. I had no idea.”  
Sam squeezed Cas’ shoulder. “It’s okay buddy. I know why you left.”  
Dean looked sadly around the bunker. “God, let’s get out of here.”  
“What? Right now?” Sam said with a small laugh.  
“Yeah! Let’s just go! We’ll buy a house, or we can rebuild Bobby’s. Start up the scrap business again. What do you say?”  
***  
Dean parked the Impala in the driveway of his and Cas’ house, and climbed out. He stared at their one story bungalow in awe for a moment- nearly three years of living there and he still couldn’t believe that it was theirs.  
“Dean, come on, man. We gotta finish moving my stuff.” Sam called from the front step.  
They hadn’t bought Bobby’s property- it had already been scooped up by a young couple who’d built a new house and converted the space to a home for troubled teens. It had sucked, but Dean was okay with it.  
Instead, they bought a house in Lawrence, Kansas. Dean had never imagined that they’d end up back in Lawrence, but somehow it felt right- like they’d come full circle. He and Sam had bought a bar from an old guy looking to retire, and named it Winchester’s. They were looking to expand to a restaurant as well. They also provided lodging and supplies to any hunters who came through. Cas was working part time at a gas/convenience store as well, but his main focus was school- he was taking online courses in social work.  
They’d all been living together, but a year after they moved there, Sam had met Amy- she was a teacher at the elementary school in town. She was walking past the bar one night when Sam was getting ready to close up, and he Saw her get mugged. He’d raced to her rescue, and put the guy in the hospital. The police said that he was responsible for a chain of murders, and that Amy would be dead if he hadn’t seen.  
Sam had helped nurse her back to health- he’d check up on her every day, and on days when she didn’t want to talk, he’d just leave food at the front door. He swore up and down he didn’t want a romantic relationship with her- he didn’t want her to feel like she owed it to him to be with him- but she’d taken control of the situation and asked him out. After that they began falling in love.  
Sixteen months after her attack, Sam asked Amy to marry him. She said yes. Well, actually, she said, “It’s about fucking time you asked me. Yes.”  
They’d gotten married two weeks ago, and had just returned from their honeymoon. Sam hadn’t even been home an hour when he asked Dean to help him move stuff to their new house. Three days later, they were taking the last of Sam’s things over.  
Dean walked through the front door. Amy was standing in in the kitchen talking to Cas as they made dinner. “Hey, Amy,” Dean said, and kissed her cheek. “When did you get here?”  
“I came over right after school- I knew you boys would be busy moving so I figured I’d help Cas make dinner.” She smiled at him and handed him a beer.  
“Thanks.” He said. He opened it, then turned to Cas and kissed him. “Hey babe.”  
Cas squirmed out of his hold and playfully slapped him with a spatula. “Dean, unless you’re here to help with dinner, get out of the kitchen,” he said with a smile. Dean laughed and moved out of his way.  
Sam was coming up from the basement with a box in his arms. “We can probably make one more trip before dinner, Dean.”  
“But I just opened a beer!” Cas reached out and plucked it out of his hand. “Hey!” He exclaimed.  
“And now it’s mine,” Cas said. Dean looked and Amy, who shrugged. “Now go help your brother.”  
“Fine,” Dean said, smiling. He walked around the counter. “At least kiss me goodbye.”  
Cas feigned annoyance, but when he kissed Dean, it conveyed as much love as the kiss in the cemetery had.  
“I love you, Cas,” Dean whispered.  
Cas cupped Dean’s face in his hands and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you, too.” He grinned, and gave Dean’s shoulders a shove. “Now go help your brother or I’m chucking the pie in the garbage.”  
“Pie?” Dean said, stopping dead. “What kind?”  
“Pecan.”  
“Shit, I think I love you,” Dean said, grinning.  
“Oh, I know you do.” Cas said as Dean picked up a box. Sam gave Amy a quick kiss before running out the door after his brother.  
***  
Sam and Amy left around seven that night. After they left, Dean and Cas cleaned the kitchen and curled up on the couch together. Cas was reading a textbook for class, and Dean was watching Game of Thrones on Netflix.  
“Dean?” Cas asked, not looking up from his textbook.  
“Yeah?”  
“We should go somewhere.”  
“Like where?”  
“I don’t know. On vacation somewhere. I’d like to see the Grand Canyon.”  
Dean smiled. “Sure, Cas, whatever you want.” He kissed the top of the angel’s head.  
“Can we get a dog?”  
“Absolutely not.”  
Cas laughed.  
That night, they fell, exhausted, into bed together. They kissed each other, lazily at first, but with growing passion, and explored each other’s now familiar bodies. Their lovemaking was easy and familiar, but they still touched each other with the same awe and reverence that they’d used the first time, years ago.  
Dean loved Cas, come Hell (sometimes quite literally) or high water. And Cas loved Dean just as much. It had taken years to get to this point, but now that they were here, they were never letting each other go.  
The End.


End file.
